i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
