I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
