sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
