I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Did I show you my penis last night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize