covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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