we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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