Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
