if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
