youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
