Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
