Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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