I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Floor bacon is actually really good
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
