I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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