She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you didnt know i had herpes?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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