I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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