She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
