her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I came so hard my ears popped.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
