guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My dick has a subreddit
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize