On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
