naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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