You don't have asthma, your pregnant
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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