Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
