Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
