it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
