I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
