wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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