You work out of a Hotel?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
