Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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