he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
