Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
