absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
