You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
