69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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