It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
