I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
