Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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