Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize