So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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