Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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