that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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