I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
