I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
