Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
