my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize