I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
