Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
