Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
