oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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