Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize