I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
