So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
