Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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