Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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