Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
high people should be assigned attendants
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
