I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
