you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
