i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
