someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
