she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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