At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
