dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There's always time for handjobs
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
