Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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