i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
