I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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