Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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