i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We smell like vodka and hangover
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