Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
