Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
