So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
