Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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